The past, the present, the future.

What a whirlwind of a week this week has been!

Just last Sunday morning I was in London having brunch and walking around in Harrods with 2 old high school friends, reminiscing the good old days of the past, bringing back childhood jokes, silly moments and old sayings. Owh how time flies and how some things never change.

Monday came all too soon and I was already in New York stuck in an overnight hotel because my flight arrived too late Sunday night for any shuttle to send me to Philadelphia. By noon, I was sitting in front of my computer in my room in Philly frantically refreshing my email while forcing my parents over Skype to stay up till 1am in the morning to accompany me through the eventual email that arrived in my inbox containing information pertaining to the fate of my future. How silly I felt jumping up and down screaming "I matched I matched" making a weird ritual dance when the good news arrived. It simply means that all those tiring years of slaving through med school had paid off. All those money spent interviewing, all the anxiety brewing throughout the interview process was made worth it. I was going to be a surgeon. I have a job, and a training spot. But that leaves the most nerve wrecking question afterwards, where?

I have interviewed at places I cannot imagine myself being at. Small towns with farms, dangerous cities with gun shots on a weekly basis, hospitals that are so tiny and small you only have one friend. Worse question of all was, how far am I going to be from my bf?

But then Friday came and the answer to all my question was lying in the hands of my dear dean who was a great advocate for us Malaysian IMu trained students. The ceremony was horrible. They incubated over 200 nerve wrecking, anxious, almost mentally insane students in one hall, and made us wait through speeches and photographing for an hour! And then the golden hour came when I was finally handed the letter which contained the fate and sanity of the next 5-7 years of my life.

It was there, sitting in my hands. Do I want to open it? Yes. Will I be able to face the results? Probably not. So many questions were running through my head. What is I match to a small program? What if I am 10 hours away from my bf? What if I match to a small ulu kampung town? What if I feel lonely and miserable at where I am training?

I felt my hands slowly tearing open the envelope. As I was doing that, I can sense my brain praying for my top 2 choices. Halfway through the envelope, I prayed for my top 5 instead. When I was almost done, I told myself as long as it is not the bottom 5 I will be happy. But alas, all my prayers were answered! God was kind. God listened. He was there! Everything that I was so worried about fell into place. I am the luckiest girl on earth!

I matched not only to my no 2 choice, it was a much greater blessing! I was only 40 mins away from my bf's program, and even have a fellow friend from my school to accompany me through intern year! Although not a big city, it still was a vibrant town! With my lousy credentials, I was amazed I could get such an amazing program to accept me! I am truly blessed! My future is secured!

And 32 hours later, as I am typing his, I am headed home to my family to celebrate this victory of mine. Every success story comes with a price to pay. All those years of hard work finally paid off. From the uncertainty of stepping into the US medical training system, to spending loads of money applying for training spots. It will be a rough 5-7 years ahead for me, but hopefully the future me can be like today, gleaming with joy when I finally become a certified surgeon.