Flustered mind

Here I am now, sitting and staring at my computer screen, with a pounding heart. Woke up way too early this morning (well, I slept way too early last night too). Tons of thoughts are racing through my mind. "What's a Pimozide?", "What if the questions are too tricky and I'm too stupid to get it?" "What should I eat for dinner tonight?" "What if I fail?" "What should I wear to the beach?" "Should I get the Gap hat?"


Doesn't really help either, when you're trying to calm yourself down, but you feel the pounding beats of your heart everywhere (makes me wonder if I have an aortic regurgitation, hmmm...). So what can I say. I have been studying since forever, constant study for about a year now for shelf after shelf, and the main purpose for all the studying, was for this big scary exam. Yes. Step 2 CK. After so much studying, I still feel unprepared, felt like crap. Doing my mock wasn't very helpful either, instead I made so many careless mistakes I seriously doubt my exam taking skills. 


But all is said and done. I cannot postpone the exam, nor can I just don't show up to take it. I have to do it. The only way to win despite all the odds, is to think positive, look ahead, and have faith. Miracles happen. Well, hardwork helps too. No amount of studying, or simply feeling depressed can make me a brilliant smart A student overnight. But having a good mind set will definitely change things a little, and harbour some hope.


Yes. I can do this. Nine hours. Its a battle. 

Another June baby.

June babies are everywhere. Sprouting up down left right. 

It was another June's baby's birthday. 

We were brought to have a scrumptious meal at Sang Kee. Peking Duck + Lobster = Yumminess.

Had another round of celebration at Martin. And together with Lay Queen's birthday too!! Hence two cakes.

Short update for now. Gotta study.

Schooo Cute!!!

I want to scream real hard.

I finally ended my two and a half year run of being a THIRD year medical student. 

TWO AND A HALF YEARS. 

Such a long time to be stuck at third year. Simply because the transition from Malaysia to the United States was in such a special circumstance, as in Malaysia medical school is 5 years, but in United States is 4 years. 

I started third year in with Semester 5 in IMU, and took about half a year to take step 1, and waited another half a year for clinical years to start in USA, and whollaa, joined the third year class and did the whole full year of clinical clerkship. 

*pats my own back*

On a separate note :

Took a couple of pictures of my hammies over the weekend, and realised that the pictures are just too cute. So I decided to post a couple of them up (I took over a hundred pictures). Although the cheeky hammies refuse to sit still for a picture, I managed to capture some lovely cheeky poses!

Take #1. This is little hammie snatching the cashew nuts from my hand. I refused to let go, and he refused to let go either, so we were playing a mini tug of war game. This is him in action. Love the puffed up cheeks haha. Must be working those jaw muscles hard. 

Take #2. Little Hammie trying to find food. I was evil enough to lure them with nuts, but refuse to give it to them to keep them in the cute big eyed propped up position for a picture. 

Take #3. Two little hammies mischievously trying to escape from their cage. Kept climbing out of their cage. Haha. 

Take #4. Hammie greedy again. I was nice this time. I let him chew nicely on the nut.

Take #5. I played a little game with the two boys, lured them with a sunflower seed. They two of them were fighting each other for a seed. One hammie managed to snatch it out of my hands, and the expression on his face is priceless!! 

Take #6. Little hammie going to a road trip in mommy's hands. 

Take #7. See how fat the hammies have grown. Lolz! 

That was really cuteness overload. Cute cute cute! Haha

Room Mini Revamp

 My room has undergone a mini revamp. All due to the presence of a special item. 


And so, the seniors have graduated. Sad sad. But that also mean, a lot of the items they have in their room, will be inherited by the juniors aka me. So as a first tier junior, I get first pick! My room is already crowded with tons of furniture, so instead of picking drawers or wooden racks, I picked a COUCH!


And I am loving it. Haha. Thank YinnCher banyak banyak! 


And since the arrival of the couch, I needed to touch up my room decor by making the corner look cozy. So I made a trip to the dollar store and bought a couple items to replace the temporary-turned-permanent items I have. 


An example would be my dressing table comb cup. I initially used a paper cup to hold my brushed/shavers/tweezers/scissors yadayada. And the temporary paper cup turned permanent for a year due to sheer laziness to look for a proper holder. 

Can you believe I actually lived with a paper cup brush holder for a year now. Lolz. Lazy me.

But now, I is can have proper holder!

Yay!

And another item I kept telling myself to buy is a penholder. And I kept procrastinating. So my pens are always sprawled all over the table.

But sprawl table no more pens. Now you have a proper home!

Last item I need to purchase is a vase. For my dried flowers. I didn't see any nice + cheap vase in the dollar shop.

These poor dried flowers have been living in the orange juice bottle for about half a year now. Haha. 

And ALAS, picture of the couch in my cozy corner. 

Super *hearts* my room now. Oooh I bought the table runner from the dollar shop too. Good deal. Although quality not that good.

I also have a little post-it souvenir from disneyland that I hung up next to my table. Gonna be convenient sticking notes all over now.

And amidst all the decorating, I was complaining about my room being too dark. And I have been complaining about my room being too dark for about a year now (ever since I moved in). And each time I study without my table lamp I fall asleep due to the darkness. And one fine day, an idea struck me. 

That is, to remove the light cover. Walao I can't believe I am so stupid. For a year I live in darkness when a simple solution could have improved my studying (and maybe shelf scores too). Sigh. Damn dumb.

See how bright the lights are without the cover. 

I even personalized the 2 foam boards YinnCher left behind to go above the couch to add a personalized touch.

 *Heart* the new room-do. Haha. 

Pink Oatmeal

PS : Big Happy Birthday to the BF.

Been having gum problems the past few weeks. First my left gum was inflamed, so I chewed on the right side, and eventually made my right gums inflamed too. So I was stuck eating mechanical soft food due to the pain of chewing.

So I made oatmeal the other day, and added raspberries into them for taste. And it turned a nice shade of pink! Was so pretty, made my otherwise painful day of needing to study and can't chew.

 Ain't it pretty? Made 2 bowls so that I can eat it for the next day's lunch too. 

Summer has arrived. The weather is really hot, but not terribly humid. Although I won't get a chance to play too much in the sun this year, it still is an opportunity to wear shorts out! Quote Dr Spandorfer (my lecturer) :" We have a medical curriculum to protect the health of our medical students. It is all part of our melanoma-prevention-campaign". Lolz. He said that on one bright Friday evening when we were stuck in lecture when everyone was dying to go soak some sunlight. 

 Boleh pakai seluar pendek

And then it was the memorial day weekend. Sales were everywhere. I made a mental note to NOT go out and shop this time round. Was pretty successful and studied a lot a lot a whole lot up till Sophia spilled her shopping plan to me. Was super tempting. But still rejected the shopping invitation. 


Until she mentioned Forever 21. Sigh. How not to go you tell me. Sales in Forever 21 in America can. Damn tempting lor. In the end I made a deal with myself that if I finish MSK I will go.


And so I went. Only bought 1 item in Forever 21, but ended up buying tons of Ann Taylor dresses and Victoria secret stuff.

 Memorial Day Haul

Random picture taken in my room while waiting for dinner .Was deciding amongst the three which would make a good FB profile picture. 

I like no2. But ZhiVen like no1. Sighh... decisions. 


And procrastination. K back to the books. 

Medical Student Experience

There are three must see things in my list of thing-to-see (pretty short one eh) as a medical student.

1) Open brain surgery

2) Open heart surgery

3) Transplant surgery. 

These are the see-once-enough kinda procedures that I will love to fulfill before I die. (choi choi choi). Kinda sad to be a physician but never see brain or heart before. Seriously.

Today, one of those procedures got checked of my list. But seriously, I will never do it again. Too painful process. 

By the way, anyone ever told you that the brain feels and looks like tofu? 

I am old.

Twas my birthday couple days ago. This is one of those rare days where I don't look forward to my birthday at all. So much so that I forgot it was my birthday. Why do I not wanna celebrate my own birthday?

1) Step 2 CK coming up.

2) Surgery shelf coming up.

3) Anesthesia exam ON the day itself.

4) My family not here to celebrate with me.

5) No nice birthday plans cos of all the exams. 

6) ZhiVen's parent arriving but not MY parents. =(

But nonetheless, I have friends who remembered it was my birthday. And just like last year, they picked the moment where I was in the bathroom bathing, and hid in my room. I was surprised haha. First thing that crossed my head was "Zomg thank god I tidied my room that morning". Second thing was "Zomg luckily I did not decide to return in a towel to my room". Third thing was "Zomg luckily I still have contacts on, else I'll look so fugly" in reference to WeiPhin's huge camera pointing at me. 

K larz, I look presentable, my room look presentable. Happy Birthday to myself. (I know right, these weird thoughts in my head about myself only, sighhh.)

My final and last thought was "ZOMG I HAVE FRIENDS!!" and "THEY RMB MY BDAY" and "THEY ACTUALLY PLANNED SOMETHING FOR MY BDAY".

Made my day/week/month/year.

 Yay to having a lot of friends. 

 ZhiVen's parents were in town on the DAY of my birthday. So they brought me to Morimoto to "celebrate" my birthday. Actually I paiseh, would've rather gone to BananaLeaf, but the two cousins wanted to try Morimoto, so okay lor. 


The food was good, but super overpriced. 


Best part of the night was when ZhiVen's mom handed me this funny looking gift wrapped box and casually said "Owh your parent pass you this". 


I tell you, I fainted inside at the moment. I was like "ZOMG I GOT PRESSIE FROM MY PARENTS". First time ever okay, my parents never bought me any birthday gift on their own wan. Every time only buy me cake say thats the present. Lolz. Or not they will just buy me something necessary like a laptop or a camera and declare that as a birthday present. Never a surprise present wan. 


That's why I fainted. If inside is a little joker-in-a-box doll also I super happy. 

It was a seahorse from Thomas Sabo. 

I happy until I almost jolted from my chair breaking Morimoto's ceiling and fly to space. But of course, I grew fatter, so I didn't, my weight held me in place. Haha.

My birthday wasn't so bad afterall. Got nice dinner, got nice friends, got nice cake from reading (Thank you Queen), got nice pressie from parents, and got pressie from BF also. 


Doesn't change the fact I have so many exams to study for. So after that one night, I went home with a SUPER GUILTY heart and continue to study. 


Will indulge gao gao once Step 2 is over!